Hold On
by SlayerRyoko
Summary: Second in "Hush Little Baby" stories. Chloe visit's Lex during "Asylum" one shot


Title: Hold On  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: Second in "Hush Little Baby" stories. Set within "Asylum." Chloe visit's Lex before the shock tharpy.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own SMALLVILLE or the song "Hold On."  
  
***   
  
How could Lionel do such a thing? And to his own son, too. No man should be that heartless. And he wont remember, either, which is the whole idea... he wont remember what we found on Lionel...or what he promised me. He swore to protect me, but who will protect him? I am driving to Bella Reeve now, for tonight is the night. I tried to stop it, but even with Clark's help there is nothing to be done.  
  
I pull into the parking lot, and the guard merely nods. I am Lex's most frequent visitor and all the staff know me. Visiting hours are from four to seven but I can come and go as I please, as long as Lionel isn't around, which is something Dr. Mitchell warns me about, for he doesn't know I come to see his son, and will never know if I can help it.  
  
I walk into the doors and up to Melly, the woman who works at the main desk. "Hey, where is he?" I ask.  
  
"Room 205, second floor, Chloe." Melly says, flipping threw her PEOPLE Mag. I thank her and head that way, knowing no one will bother to give me a second glance, though some will say "Hello."  
  
I find myself in front of the glass, where I see him looking away from the window, not wanting to see who looks in at him. I am let in, and he still doesn't look. I know he thinks I am his dad coming to taunt him or something. I take off the scarf I am wearing and walk over to him, draping the cloth over his eyes. I see him tense a little. I lean down and brush my lips to his. He untence and kisses me back, I know he know's me now but do not remove my scarf.  
  
***  
  
Hold on   
Hold on to yourself   
for this is gonna hurt like hell.   
***  
  
"How are you?" I ask, at last removing my scarf. I run my hand over his cheek and smile at him.  
  
"I'm scared, Chloe." He says, looking deep into my eyes. "I'm really scared."  
  
"You should..." I say, my smile fading. "I wont lie, Lex. It's gonna hurt. But you are strong, you'll win. Don't let your father win this, Lex."  
  
"I wont. I'll be strong... if only for you." He gives me his winning smile and I can see his is longing to run his hands threw my hair, his favorite pastime as he once told me. "I love you." He says.  
  
Once again, as always, really, I feel that tiny spot inside me that screams at me telling me he doesn't know what he is saying. And he doesn't, really. So later, when all this is over, he wont remember he loves me. So I feel as if I shouldn't be saying what I am about to say. But I do, anyway, if only because this maybe my last chance. "I love you, too, Lex."  
  
***  
Hold on   
Hold on to yourself.   
You know that only time can tell   
***  
  
"Listen, Chlo," He says, "if I don't make it, I told them that everything goes to you. I want you and your dad to live with the best life has to offer."  
  
"Don't talk like that, Lex. You must make it. You have to." Tears start in my eyes and roll down my cheeks. "You...you have to."  
  
He is starting to cry as well. I know he is so scared. I am, too. I am in love with this man, this Luthor son. I want this to end soon, since only time will tell if he will be able to run those hands threw my hair again. I kiss him again and can feel his tears.  
  
***  
what is it in me that refuses to believe   
this isn't easier than the real thing.   
  
My love   
you know that you're my best friend.   
You know that I'd do anything for you   
and my love   
let nothing come between us   
my love for you is strong and true.   
***  
  
"Tell me again." He says between kisses.  
  
"I love you." I say. He kisses me again and I feel every inch of love in his body in that kiss. He is my friend, and I would take his place if I could. If I could just hold his hand threw it then I would be happy. We go on kissing, and I again feel him wanting to feel my hair. I smile a little and wish he could, too. I had grown so used to that.  
  
These kisses, so soft and full of love. It is heaven. And yet, where I am, in this asylum, is hell. It is both at the same time, I hate it.  
  
***  
Am I in heaven here or   
am I...   
At the crossroads I am standing.   
***  
  
"You should sleep for a few hours. It's going to be hard." I pull away and pull up the only other chair and sit next to him. He nods and closes his eyes.  
  
"I can only sleep when you are here," he says, and I see him fall asleep almost at once. He must have been so sleepy. I close my eyes and pray that he will be strong and that he will come back to me unharmed so we can really truly be together one day.  
  
I start to cry again. I'm so worried I can hardly stand it. What will happen to us when he doesn't remember? How will I be able to talk to him at all without kissing him? How can I handle that?  
  
***  
So now you're sleeping peaceful   
I lie awake and pray   
that you'll be strong tomorrow   
and will see another day   
and we will praise it   
and love the light that brings a smile   
across your face.   
  
Oh god   
if you're out there won't you hear me.   
I know we're never talked before   
  
and oh god   
the man I love is leaving   
won't you take him when he comes to your door.   
  
***  
  
"Please, God," I pray. "Please help him... get him threw this. I love him, Lord. He's all that matters besides You. Without him... God, without him I have no idea what I will do. He means so much to me, You know. And help me, Jesus. Because I don't know what I will do. And if he dies, show him you loving kindness." And then I am crying again.  
  
I kiss his cheek and whip away the tear stains in his eyes. He has to at least look strong when his father comes. I will not let him know how scared he is.  
  
***  
  
Am I in heaven here or   
am I in hell   
at the crossroads I am standing.   
  
So now you're sleeping peaceful   
I lie awake and pray   
that you'll be strong tomorrow   
and we will see another day   
and we will praise it   
and love the light that brings a smile   
across your face   
***  
  
I stand up and leave, because I can't stand to stay and watch this all unfold. I wish I could because I know he'll need it, but I can't. Therefore, I won't. I hope he will understand because I don't want him to be mad at me. I say another prayer.  
  
"Lord help him."  
  
***  
Hold on   
hold on to yourself   
for this is gonna hurt like hell.  
  
-FIN 


End file.
